Publication
Published chapters are available at Another Yar. I will post the fanfic to Ao3 as I publish chapters, but I will post my notes here. There may be some minor spoilers in my notes, but that's the risk you run.
Background
It all started when I was barely halfway through season 1 of TNG and I was getting ROYALLY PISSED about how Yar was written. And, naturally, I went to complain about it on the internet. But because of who I am, it wasn't enough to just complain, I needed to give my 2 cents about how she SHOULD have been written. Since then, I've finished most of the show and gotten much more Yar lore. And you know what? I'm doubling down. I wrote post about gender in TNG, but I skipped over Yar because her character is so egregious, it's not enough to just talk about it: I need to fix it.
Character: the TNG version
Why should Yar be an incredible character?
She is perfectly poised, narratively, to be a character that tackles tough themes about how trauma and grief can make people into less noble versions of themselves. Picard believes that everyone can be kind: he also grew up in a beautiful vineyad in solarpunk France. Must be nice, Picard. Imagine a *foil*, a character with a completely opposing background, who challenges Picards noble notions with her cut-throat survival instincts. DO YOU SEE THE VISION?
She's already set up to be an incredible character. Within the fiction:
- Yar has *severe* childhoood trauma, including witnessing her parents deaths.
- It's heavily implied that Yar was sexually assaulted as a child or teen, or at least lived in constant fear of sexual assault.
- Yar has no guardians after the age of 5.
- Yar's little sister, who she protected when Yar was only 5 years old, joined the cadre Yar blames for her parents' deaths.
AND YET
- Despite being from a failed colony that is not part of the federation--
- Yar became a young, accomplished Starfleet officer (on the friggin FLAGSHIP). Normally, people from outside the Federation can't join Starfleet.
- Yar is a tactical officer, meaning she knows weapons and combat.
- Yar has been noted for multiple acts of extreme bravery and valour, more than is expected of Starfleet officers.
Character: My Version
I want to write a story about how violence changes a person. About how cruelty can make you cruel. About how sometimes, the hardest part is surviving the peace. I want to write a story about violence, not a noble Klingon act of bravery or a solution of last resort, but as something that gets woven into your DNA, intertwined with survival instincts that didn't leave time for moral quandries or deliberation. The kind of underhanded, rogue-like violence that will happily take the coward's way out because honour is a luxury for other people, the kind who've grown up in French vinyards. Not for those who've had to claw their way out from the gutter, those who've had to beg, borrow, steal, kill, and who know full well it's important they *never* consider the morality of these actions because surely, if they did, it would all fall apart.
I've read so many incredible stories about brave women who've faced fantastical tribulations and come out a stronger, but rougher, meaner, colder. The tragedy wears on them. Some of my inspirations for My Yar:
- Buffy Summers the Vampire Slayer, in the later seasons
- October Daye (novels by Seanan McGuire)
- Jessica Jones (despite being a big comic nerd, I only know her from the show)
- Ellen Ripley from Alien
- Dana Scully from X-files
The girlies have been through it. Some start cheerful and become colder (Buffy); some start relax and become anxious (Ripley); some start composed and begin to fray (Scully); and some we only get glimpses of their former selves and are left to wonder who they could have been if their lives hadn't been so cruel (Jessice Jones and October Daye). I want my Yar to join their ranks.
SIDE NOTE: my Yar does not start as a good person. I say this because she is going to do and say pretty awful things about people she perceives as weak. These aren't my views, and they won't be her views forever.
Yar & the Other Characters
So much of this show is about how the characters interact and contrast with each other. My Yar has the potential to add to this prism of personalities.
There is a doctor who will die to save a patient. There is a tactical officer who will kill anyone to save herself. And she has.There is a Klingon warrior who dreams of dyign in battle. There is a tactical officer who knows what death looks like, the stink of it. She knows there is no glory amongst the maggots and rot.
There is a captain who believes humans are, in their hearts, good. There is a tactical officer who knows just how evil humans can be. The kind of cruelty they will exert for survival, sure, but even for amusement. She doesn't get to his optimism. In her world, optimism gets you killed.
There is a ship full of people eager to explore the unknown, reaching out ever further. But there is a tactical officer who isn't exploring, she's running away. She knows that stationary prey is always more vulnerable: you're better off moving. There's safety in that.
Themes
Ok, to be clear, no one asked for this, or even wants it. But normally my writing is so purposeful I don't have time to really indulge my narratively minded little brain. So for this project, I'm coming up with a handful of themes at the get go and ensuring that every scene aligns with at least one theme.
I'm using Lisa Cron's method of giving your protagonist a core misbelief that will be challenged by the story. Yar's misbelief's are:
- Only uncaring independence is safe. Relying on others is dangerous.
- If they see who I am, they will shun me and I will lose everything.
- Honour is a luxury for people who can afford it.
I think it's fun (see: tragic) that these core beliefs are in conflict with each other. Yar believes that relying on anyone is a short path to a shallow grave, but she's working on a ship where she much constantly rely on others. This leads to hypervigilance and terrible coping mechanisms. She sees herself as incapable of honour, but she's in an honour-bound role and surrounded by people who value honour very highly.
Some other themes I want to address:
- Grief isn't pretty.
- Trauma changes us in strange and profound ways.
- Substance abuse as a coping mechanism.
Format
I like close stories, stories that feel like they are carved on the inside of your bones. You know how you read some stories, and it feels like someone is describing something they witnessed? It's a 3rd person play-by-play with a bit of commentary, but mostly just a bird's eye view? Yeah, the opposite of that. I like stories where the reader feels the fabric rustle on their skin, feels the rush of blood in their ears, hears every disjointed thought. I also wanted the story to be unequivocally about Yar, even if she's part of an ensemble cast and, because of her role on the ship, not driving the overarching plot. For this reason, it had to be in first person and quite an indulgent first person, at that. We're talking novelization.
AND YET I want to respect the original format. I think the contrast of reminding the reader that this person who they are SO CLOSE TO is on Star Trek, an adventure show, brings a fun and startling contrast. There's a TV show called Kevin Can F**k Himself: it alternates between filmed like a live-audience sitcom and a dark, broody drama. THAT'S the effect I want. Yar is a dark character is a pretty utopian world: that's why I think she's interesting. I don't want the story to feel ominous all the time; I want HER to feel ominous. So I've decided to write some chapters as screenplays, complete with camera direction. I've never written a screenplay and honestly never been interested, but I'm learning because I commit to the bit.